Stay Alive & Kill Your Mind

Hello, it’s me *please avoid the Adele impression*. So, it’s been so long. So tiring, so ugh.
As much as I hate admitting this, school as been beating me up so much and it’s not even normal. However, I’ve been writing a lot of things lately and some things are not to share right now and some are. Right now, the following “poem-thingy” that I wrote today at school is worth sharing.
*WARNING* This is really dark and emo (words that came out of my best friends’ mouths), so I’m sorry in advance.

So here we go. Enjoy.

When the night turns to grey, will you remember all you did today?

If the day rises back from the dead, will you suddenly forget it all, the pieces to shred?

Is this the things we teach ourselves to not feel the pain?

But isn’t pain all that we want?

We want to feel sorry for ourselves.

We want people to feel sympathy, maybe even empathy.

Truth be told, some people feel apathy and will lie to you and tell you they know what you’re going through.

We disguise ourselves with the mask that is not our own.

But it makes us feel good about ourselves.

We crave the attention, but all we are left with afterwards is more pain and less comfort.

You surround yourself with people who claim to care and be open, but you can never peel off the skin of a mind that’s closed. 

I didn’t want to get so deep in this, but it’s been haunting my mind.

All this time I’ve been dead and the only things still alive inside of me are the demons that keep a close watch.

Am I rambling on and on again?

Telling you about the things you’d rather not hear?

I’m sorry, but I have to tell you about the nights that haunt.

The days that drag on.

Misty mornings, cold nights.

You think it’s the perfect vision of a magical winter season.

But it’s the haunting images of all my memories that remain.

I understand that right now I’m only making it more and more hard for you to try and puzzle all my thoughts together.

“Why is she so quiet? Why does she never do something fun?” 

I don’t really know, it’s just how I am.

Be happy I don’t walk around with a gun to my head.

Awaiting everyone’s reaction before I hear the roar of sympathy come my way. 

No, I don’t need that. I’ll walk around in silence. My hands in a fist to avoid the whispers that are engaging in the room.

When the night turns to grey, will I remember all I did today?

If the day rises back from the dead, will I suddenly forget it all, the pieces to shred?

So, yeah. That’s been on my mind today at school. Not really sure why, but I kind of like it (not because I wrote it). Anyways, if you liked it, reblog and like my post. If you ever wanna talk, well you know, I have social media. SO hit me up on like my twitter and stuff.

Until the next time (whatever that means).

“Sometimes to stay alive, you’ve gotta kill your mind”

-Tyler Joseph (Twenty One Pilots)

Yours Sincerely,

Clouds.

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